Honne and Tatemae - The Honesty and Facade

Culturally and ethnically, Japan is a homogeneous society. They are the ethnic group that prioritizes harmony. Japanese people don't often share their true feelings or what they're thinking with other people. They are easily embarrassed. When they are in public, to avoid exposure and embarrassment, they suppress their true feelings and thoughts. Japanese folks communicate in a complicated way. To understand the social behavior of the Japanese, it is essential to understand the concepts of Honne and Tatemae.

Honne:

Honne means "true sound". It refers to the true feelings or desires of an individual. It is one's true feelings or thoughts that they keep hidden except with their closest friends and family. Usually, it is displayed outside the working world. Because sometimes, by expressing true feelings or thoughts, they might hurt or offend others. So they only show their "honne" to the people they are comfortable with, like their closest friends or family.

An Example of Honne:

Nomikai is an occasion when coworkers get together to talk, eat, and drink. When such occasions arise, Japanese people are supposed to show "honne", like discussing problems at work, family issues, or complaining about the boss. They share their true feelings or thoughts.

Tatemae:

Tatemae is the opposite of honne. Tatemae means "public face". It refers to the behavior and opinions one shows in public. It prioritizes others' feelings over one's own. It is the behavior an individual adopts based on whether or not it is socially acceptable in Japanese culture. It is not used to deceive other people, but rather to avoid hurting people or making them feel uncomfortable. From a Western point of view, it's a white lie. Many Japanese believe that it can reduce arguments and conflict.

An Example of Tatemae:

When an individual is not comfortable with someone, despite feeling uncomfortable, they will smile and say "it's okay". Another example is that though the food tastes awful, they will say "It tastes really good".

To understand the concept of  "Honne" and "Tatamae", watch the following video:

Putting it in simple words, Honne is what a person really thinks and Tatemae is what a person actually says. The Japanese have been practicing honne and tatemae for centuries. Separating honne, keeping one's true feelings hidden from others, and tatemae, the way of behaving and interacting with people in public, is a part of life in Japan. This can make it difficult to understand what someone is really saying.